Have you ever stared at the blank screen of a new blog post and felt intimidated?  There’s just so much I want to say and I’m not sure where to start.  I guess I’ll just run with it.   Sorry in advance for a post that will probably be all over the place!

First off, I’m a horrible person.  I never thanked you all for your kind words, thoughts, prayers, texts, for the situation with my dad.  I so appreciate everything and I know it’s because of all of you that I was able to work past a lot of my anger towards him.  My family and I are still adjusting and dealing with a lot, but we’re not in the stage where it feels like a constant downward spiral.  Which is awesome.  Mostly my mom is now having to deal with the financial aspect of it all, which I don’t envy at all.  To be honest, I’m not sure how she does it.

Another twist to life right now is that my sister is going to study abroad in Japan for 5 months.  She leaves on Wednesday.  It’ll be really different around here.  This is good for her to grow as a person, so I have no problems with it.  Well maybe one – such bad timing haha.  But what can you do?  Actually, I just realized I have another problem.  I can’t go out at night anymore!  Nobody will feed my dogs!  Sigh.

This past Sunday I had a “woe is me” moment.  I was taking a shower and it kind of hit me.  I had just finished trying to wake Bryce up for the umpteenth time to get him in the shower and we always “argue” about who showers first (98% of the time it’s me).  I even ate breakfast without him.  Nothing glamorous.  Just some nutella and wheat bread.  When he asked what I ate and I replied he said “oh that’s it?” all I could say was “well yeah I just didn’t feel like cooking.”  So in the shower I was sulking while thinking how nice it would be for someone to cook ME breakfast for once.  How I’m always having to do things for everyone else.  I’m not even sure when I took that role upon myself.  I think it kind of just happened naturally.  So I was in a funk all day and wasn’t very good company.  Once you start feeling sorry for yourself it’s hard to stop.

I hate to be such a Debbie Downer lately.  But this blog is my outlet.  I do have some good news to share though.  I’ve finally decided on a Master’s program!  Hopefully if things work out, this coming fall, I’ll be taking courses in Library and Information Science.  Imagine that.  And now that I’ve made a decision, a sense of peace has come over me.  It’s accompanied with a sense of fear, but I think that’s natural.  So hooray!

Hopefully this is the start to many good things to come.  2012 has been an interesting year so far, don’t you think?  At the end of the day though, I’m glad Bryce is with me.  He sticks with me through thick and thin. ❤

 

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