It started off as a regular day.  Wake up, get dressed, go to work.

And then it happened.

My sister was running late that day.  Which normally would be a problem to me because I hate waiting, but I called Bryce because I had a missed call from him.  Apparently I didn’t get a few messages from him and he asked if I was ignoring him (jokingly, of course).  So when my sister finally came, I was still talking to him as we walked to the parking structure.  He was telling me about his first day of summer school, I was trying not to get runned over in the crosswalk.

We finally got to the big stretch of grass that we need to walk across (Bachman Lawn) and then I felt it.  A few drizzles hit my left arm and leg.  Which seemed normal to me.  It had been rainy earlier in the day.  Only now, it was clearly sunny.  Not a rain cloud in sight.  And it was hot.  So I looked up.

We were under a tree.

Could it have been… bird poop???  Please no, please don’t be bird poop.  Oh my Gods, please no! (I’ve decided to adopt the phrase “Oh my Gods” from Percy Jackson.  It’s funny hehe.)

My suspicions were confirmed when I decided (stupidly) to swipe my clean hand across the spot where I felt a drizzle and then… sniff it.  It’s worked in the past.  And it’s a sure way to tell if it’s poop or water.  It was in fact poop.  YUCK.  And poor Bryce was still on the phone so he heard my squealing and screaming.  Yes, there were other people around to witness my freaking out.  But I didn’t care.

I had just been pooped on.

I can’t even begin to describe how I felt.  I was horrified.  I was filthy.  I detested my left arm for crying out loud!  I needed to get home.  Fast.  Either that or chop off my arm.  I no longer wanted it.

Oh and my sister?  She got poop right by her eye.  She was frantic too, understandably.  But then she said this:

“What if I go blind?!”

“You’re not gonna go blind.”

We rushed home.  Bird poop does wonders to my driving.  Not really.  It was a scary time.  Ever drove with just four fingers?  It’s hard, believe me.

Immediately after arriving home, I called dibs on the bathroom and scrubbed twice with hot water and soap.  Up and down my arm.  And got water all over my watch.  It survived though!  I wasn’t sure where on my leg (if at all) I got pooped on, so I didn’t wash it.  Later that night my dogs sniffed up and down my leg, which just confirmed that I did indeed have poop on my leg.  I changed my sheets.  Then showered in hot water.

My sister went to work out in the gym we have in our building, so I was surprised when she called me.  She asked me if I could please bring her paper towels because she discovered that she had stepped in dog poop while walking our dogs earlier.  After she had scrubbed her face to get rid of the bird poo.  Man.  What luck I tell you.

Speaking of luck.  We told our parents about the whole poop incident.  Their response?

“Oh, that’s good luck.”

I leave you with this image.  They’re out to get me.  I swear.